Rubric With A Note

Three years in and maybe it’s time to put out something like a rubric or framework so that the varying degrees of good and bad that I end each of these blurbs with has some reference. Let me also say that it’s not lost on me that these collections of song that I grade are the result of hours if not years of time, money, and creativity. Each person or group who puts one out may be at their absolutely most vulnerable, may be pushing a cash grab, or may be falling somewhere in between. The time and thought I put into a response from a consumer end is absolutely carefully considered even if nuance is sometimes lacking. I think and I think and I think some more beyond just description; What is this doing? Does it fit? Is it failing? Why? We on this end expect a certain amount of quality for our own time and money, especially when waiting years for work from an artist we like regardless of how much streaming has changed the relationship of listener and creator with regard to album commerce (they make less in record sales now). Those looking for, like, a vibe, or whatever, will just hit skip if the product doesn’t do anything for them.

But also, I don’t get paid for this. My opinions aren’t necessarily part of the social contract that artists and labels have with the music press that reports endlessly on every fart released out of the studio and where a small but important amount of decorum is present at all times. Even when it spills over and breaks down (Think The Big Day or Cuz I Love You) there are plenty in the ecosystem on the artists’ side fighting for those records to be reassessed in real time. That said, I do it because I enjoy it and because discourse about the intersection of creativity, culture, art, identity, and (more broadly) sociology and anthropology are at the heart of this quest. That and those of us that do this have a drive to do it, we couldn’t stop if we tried. The good ones write well and have enough hubris to think their opinions matter, the better ones get paid for it. Since I’m not monetized consider what I do a simple scream into the void to alleviate the pressure of knowing I know how to phrase things better than most and because music has touched me and been integral to my life like so many other confusniks born since the post war era gave us rock ‘n’ roll. Even if it’s not very good.

Anyway here’s how I conceptualize it:

5.0

These are the rarest kind of song cycles where every track has something to offer and the whole is more than the sum of its parts. There is detail and humanity, even if it’s perverse, that aspires towards something that all great songs do: truth. Not facts, honesty, the kind of thing you can feel in your bones – and with touches that allow it to reveal something new every time there’s a close listening.

4.0-4.9

A definite recommend. On some level to reach a 4.0 means that it scratched an aural itch that maybe the listener was unaware of. At least half of the songs and potentially more are surefire winners whose quality whether musical or lyrical possess some kind of staying power if not straight up memorability and that provide intrigue, comfort, a well-developed thesis, or coherence thematically. Not that they’re mutually exclusive.

3.0-3.9

The kind of song cycle that aesthetes and purists of a particular nature will gravitate towards. Think cult classics or the ones that receive raves in the press that just don’t click on a one-on-one basis. To varying degrees good to meh. At least a quarter of the songs will be decent, but the rest may be only pleasant or middling.

2.0-2.9

Not actively harmful but maybe one good song in a set that aesthetically ranges from meh to outright bad. Typically reserved for cash grabs or people who can’t play their instruments, but not always. Sometimes they’re just confused or boring.

1.0-1.9

Actively harmful and a must avoid. These records contain no good songs and may even push ideals that undermine core societal beliefs.

0.0-0.9

Honestly, you’d find more value in dragging your genitals through broken glass every day in a Sisyphean display of self-hatred than listen to something that gets under a one. Immediately seek transport to your nearest emergency room and remind yourself that while there’s no god to save you from this there is at least a healthcare system that will put you forever in debt.